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Spongebob Sqarepants Nothing (transcript)
This is a transcript of the FCCD video "SpongeBob SquarePants Nothing", released on December 7, 2017. *''beach intro plays, then cut to a box with a bunch of SpongeBob stuff inside saying "SpongeBob SquarePants NOTHING"'' *'Announcer:' Ohhhh..... hey kids! It's as he says it ''SpongeBob SquareP-- ''guy in a SpongeBob suit comes and shakes the box, making some stuff fall out *'SpongeBob: '''Did you say nothing? ''pitched voice; has SpongeBobs for eyes ''With my face on it? *'Squidward: If anyone's face should be on nothing, it should be mine. *'''Patrick: ''jumping up and down The only thing that should be on no one's face is mayonnaise! ''some mayonnaise at Squidward and makes a farting noise while doing so ''Oh, wait, I meant sunscreen. *'Squidward: a clump of cheese on his face I can't breathe. *'SpongeBob by Squidward ''Wash the cheese out of your nose, Squidward and let's get DIGGIN'! *sets everything up while Saxaboogie starts playing'' *'Announcer: '''SpongeBob choc 'n' chip doritos! ''of a noise maker and kids celebrating is heard *''starts slamming two packs of cookie batter on the table'' *'Spongebob: '''Put the dorito batter on the tray! *throws batter on the tray'' *'Patrick: '''Cook 'em in the washing machine! *machine explodes'' *'''Patrick: ''cookies out of the washing machine, which suddenly have Spongebob characters on them. And your doritos are done! *house is on fire'' *'Squidward: '''Patrick, your doritos set my house on fire! *of the house's flaming ears fall off, and Bobby tries to put the house back together but fails'' *'Bobby: '''Oooh, ah, uh oh. *'SpongeBob: I'll put the fire out with voice ''Spienge Biab Giuoe Gurt. ''voice ''Here we go! ''on the GoGurt tubes, causing GoGurt to be splattered all over Squidward and his house *'Squidward: '''Why does everything get all over my shirt? *'Mr. Krabs: 'Wipe that frown off your nose, Mr. Squidward! ''a SpongeBob towel at Squidward, covering his face *'Bobby: '''Hang on, I'm getting a call. It's ''cookies. *'Squidward: '''What is ''cookies? *'SpongeBob: '''It's pure ''Bobby's low pitched voice vitamins and nutrients. *'Squidward: '''I want ''low pitched voice vitamins and nutrients. *'Patrick: '''But it's in the shape of you and your friends! *'Bobby: 'Patrick, SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, ''voice ''Squidward ''voice and Plankton. *'Patrick: '''Look at me! I'm all jiggly! *'Squidward: 'You know, if you keep eating that stuff you'll BE jiggly. *'Patrick: ''in red Jell-O'' Squidward, I don't know what you're talkin' about. *''throws Patrick at the counter, removing the Jell-O from him, while a higher pitched and slightly faster version of Stadium Rave plays'' *'Patrick: '''I'm a born-again man! *throws Squidward, covered in green Jell-O, at the counter'' *'Squidward: '''My mother always told me I was sweet. *throws SpongeBob, who was covered in yellow Jell-O, at the counter'' *'SpongeBob: 'a weird, high pitched voice ''I feel SLIMY! *'Patrick: '''I accidentally filled the fish tank full of ''Bobby's low pitched voice cookies.' *throws Squidward and SpongeBob at the Jell-O'' *'Squidward: '''Ow. *'Mr Krabs:' Say hello to this bowl of ''cookies, Mr. Squidward. the bowl of colorful Jell-O onto Squidward's shirt *'Squidward:' Hello. *'Bobby: '''SpongeBob lunch box! *'Sandy: a thick Texan accent ''I like to put squirrel food in my lunch box! *'SpongeBob: 'One time, I put breakfast in my lunch box! *'Patrick: 'My lunch box is full of SpongeBob golf balls! ''the lunch box *'''Bobby: ''a very weird voice A-SpongeaBoba potato chips! ''the packet of crisps *'Patrick: '''SpongeBob, I'm eating so much junk food with your face on it that I think my tummy's gonna pop. *pops a balloon (Patrick's 'stomach') and throws potato chips at Patrick'' *'Patrick: '''Ow. *'SpongeBob: I ate really fast and now my tummy hurts! *'''Mr Krabs: ''a toy train CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO YOUR FOOD, SPONGEY BOY! ''off the countertop ''Ow. *'Bobby: SpongeBob bedroom, SpongeBob washroom, SpongeBob slippers, SpongeBob mugs, SpongeBob light switch, SpongeBob lamps, SpongeBob TV, SpongeBob games, boombox, car, snowcone maker-''gibberish'' *'''Plankton: ''laughs'' I've been selling all these SpongeBob products so that they would give all of their attention, money and effort to worthless junk. And now I can really lock them in for total mind control with SpongeBob plus YouTube videos, the three previous SpongeBob FCCD commercials the last step to give them to completely give themselves to commercialism. *'SpongeBob: '''Huh? Did you hear that, Patrick? *is watching the scene from the cereal commercial that started the 'Have a bowl' meme. On the side of the video, you can see various FCCD videos, including [http://fccd.wikia.com/wiki/Monopolyopoly Monopolyopoly and Breakfast With The President]'' *'Patrick: 'a drowsy and strange voice ''Make more SpongeBob videos... Type, type, type, type, type. *'SpongeBob: a slow-motion voice ''No! *charges at Patrick and grabs the MacBook Air that Patrick is watching the video on. He throws it off the edge of the countertop, and an explosion effect plays'' *'Patrick: '''Huh? I'm free! *'Mr Krabs: 'I never realised I was a crab! *'Squidward: 'Now we can live better lives. *'SpongeBob: Squidward ''Let's go outside, and- *'Patrick: Help old ladies cross across the street! *'Mr Krabs: '''Feed people with my new charity. GIVE A BOWL, MR. SQUIDWARD! *'Plankton: 'I'm going to start wearing clothing. *'Squidward: 'And I'm not going to be ''sighs grouchy. *'SpongeBob: '''And self-centered. *'Squidward: 'Yeah. *'Patrick: 'And unreliable. *'Squidward: 'Uh huh. *'Mr Krabs: 'And lazy! *'Squidward: 'Okay. *'Plankton: 'And ignorant. *'Squidward: 'I think that's I- *'Sandy: 'And self-righteous. *'SpongeBob: 'Hey Squidward, how 'bout you play us some music? *'Squidward: 'Yeah, on my clarinet! ''to play ''"Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' on the Moonlight" ''on his clarinet *''to Sandy, Patrick, SpongeBob, Plankton and Squidward playing on a rope. Gary appears'' *'Gary: '''Meow. *Giggly Gang are now spinning on a ceiling fan'' *'Plankton: '''I'm getting dizzy. *Giggly Gang are now in a washing machine'' *'Random Fish (probably Plankton): '''My leg! *are now inside a bowl that Bobby is pulling. It then cuts to them on the bag that Bobby shook at the beginning of the video'' *'''Everyone: ''laughs'' *''video ends and the beach outro is shown. Painty the Pirate from the TV show's intro laughs'' *''cuts to a clip where Bobby is cleaning all of the SpongeBob stuff off the counter top'' *''FCCD logo lights up and some text says 'Get Out There and Bring Joy to Someone Today!'. It then explains that the video is a parody''